Why Can’t I Relax?
Just relax. Easier said than done. Have you ever found yourself to be very effective during a life crisis such as the illness of a family member, the push to finish a deadline, or the actual experience of life or death yet find yourself unable to calm down when things are less chaotic? Or perhaps you tend to feel as if things are chaotic all the time yet you have difficulty pin-pointing what is really stressing you out? Or perhaps you are very aware you feel intensely uncomfortable in a situation you must be in daily, such as social situations.
We can all remember times when we have felt stressed. Yet for some of us, stress tends to spiral into a more consistent state of apprehension. This apprehension is usually accompanied by intense physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, shallow breathing, and a sense of shakiness. We constantly feel keyed up and on edge. This state can affect our moods so that we are noticing ourselves becoming irritable and impatient with others. We cannot find a “solution” to our worry and we cannot make the feeling go away. We call this state Anxiety.
There has been a lot written about Anxiety lately, but I found this particular article to be quite eloquent in describing what it is like to live with Anxiety and the many forms it takes. The article emphasizes the experience of Anxiety but mentions there are treatments available, such as talk therapy.
How can Talk Therapy help me with my Anxiety?
Well, first of all, a psychologist will never tell an anxious person to “just relax” or “calm down.” We know it isn’t that simple.
What a psychologist will do is start by obtaining a detailed understanding of what is going on for a person. This usually involves careful questioning re: triggers for Anxiety and how the person deals with it and their general thoughts about their Anxiety. A good general physical by a primary healthcare provider is also usually recommended to rule out any medical reasons for the Anxiety.
CBT for Anxiety involves learning how to monitor one’s mood and to identify triggers for Anxiety, or what sets up the cycle of worry and/or physiological reactivity, learning relaxation and mindfulness techniques to manage our worry thoughts and to slow down our reactivity to triggers, and engaging in a process where we learn how to slowly begin to face our fears and learn how to get through Anxiety. We learn how to be in triggering situations and work though them rather than avoid them.
If you notice your Anxiety becoming more difficult to manage and it begins to interfere in your life, please consult your healthcare provider.
Dr. Liza Guequierre